Day 19 since start/Day 9 consecutive

Hello lovelies that stop by to read my blog. I'm not getting many comments but I hope some of you are stopping by. Even if you aren't, the idea that you might is enough to keep me accountable.

I have made it to Wednesday. Yesterday was hellish. I was so annoyed and stressed and tired. Today, I woke up with a much better attitude on life and everything. I have only had 359 calories today (including lunch) and am a little hungry but yet happy that I'm training my stomach. Once you get past the restrictions, I find it gets a lot easier. I am already on my second 24-oz glass of water too!

I came in early today to work so I am working 8:15 to 4:15. I was going to go for my 30-minute walk tonight but it's raining so I will probably try out Wii circuits hopefully tonight.

Honestly, they look so scary and complicated that I haven't done them yet. I def. need to work out though tonight. I am not doing as well on the work out scale as I am on the diet scale. And being thinner and healthy isn't just based on diet alone or exercise only. It's a healthy and consistent combination of both.

Anyway back to work. Just wanted to drop in to track my progress.

from TDP diary today

Mood: Stressed

612p I had an awful day. I barely got any sleep last night and was not pulling my weight at work and having the bad day on top of that THEN my boss yelled at me so I dragged my ass to CVS across the street and loaded up on sugar and caffeine with sugar - two fastest ways to perk up and get shit done. So ya I knew I'd be over calories but I felt I had to sacrifice calories to keep my job.

What I mowed the other day

Taken from Neighbor A's side again, you can see our teeny backyard patio block and Neighbor B's fence and Neighbor C's fence

Walking into our backyard from Neighbor A's side (Neighbor A's fence is pictured) - trailer below is beyond this first bump out


Taken from neighbor A's fence (trailer is touching side of house and neighbor B's fence is pictured

Day 17 - Monday - April 27

Today's measurements
Bust-bra line - 37
Bust - full chest - 40
Bicep - 13.5
Waist - 35
Hips - 46
Thigh - 27.5
Calf - 15
Weight - 179.5 (as of 11 p.m.)
BMI - 31.79


Past Measurements History

Measurements	Bust around	Bust fullest	Bicep	Waist
	bra line	around chest
Date
10/2/2006	n/a	n/a	n/a	n/a
November-06	n/a	n/a	n/a	35
1/31/2007	35	39	13	32.5
3/26/2007	n/a	n/a	n/a	n/a
4/1/2007	33	37	13	31.5
5/4/2007	n/a	n/a	n/a	n/a
6/3/2007	33	36.5	13	31.5
9/6/2007	34	37	12.5	32
4/10/2009	n/a	n/a	n/a	n/a
4/24/2009	n/a	n/a	n/a	n/a

Measurements	Hips	Thigh	Calf	Weight	BMI
Date
10/2/2006	n/a	n/a	n/a	171	29.4
November-06	45	28	n/a	n/a	n/a
1/31/2007	43.5	26.5	15	n/a	n/a
3/26/2007	n/a	n/a	n/a	163.5	n/a
4/1/2007	43	25.5	14.5	n/a	n/a
5/4/2007	n/a	n/a	n/a	158	n/a
6/3/2007	42.5	25	14.25	n/a	n/a
9/6/2007	42.5	25.5	14.5	157	26.95
4/10/2009	n/a	n/a	n/a	181	n/a
4/24/2009	n/a	n/a	n/a	178.4

Week One Done!

It has been one week since I started my fit life. I have so far lost the 2.6 pounds. I also met my three days a week workout goal. I didn't follow my schedule like I wanted to though but I still tried to be more active.

The big thing that I am focusing on is relearning and reteaching myself the art of restriction. It's not quite dieting because dieting is temporary. Restricting is this mental thing that I do that kind of works with my OCD nature as well.

It's a willpower thing. Like for example, every day at work I can't have lunch until I finish my entire Venti ice water. Some days I'm done at normal lunch time for me and have lunch but some days like today - I'm not done yet - so no lunch yet no matter how hungry I am.

Other things I have been doing in terms of this is no couch until I do something after I get home. That one hasn't worked as well yet as the water one but it's getting there.

Wish me luck for week 2!

SUNday

I just realized today I don't really like the sun as much as I thought I did. It's too bright out. And it dries out my skin. And it's too hot. I swear for every extra 10 pounds you put on you have to add an addt'l like 5 degrees to the temp outside.

Mowing

I just mowed my lawn for two hours. I hope that counts as a workout!

day 14

Well it's day 14 since I came up with this brilliant idea. And consecutive day 5 that I've stuck with it! I weighed in tonight and found that I have lost 2.6 pounds! I'm not stupid so I will congratulate myself but keep in mind realistically that it's probably water weight. Regardless though I have to pat myself on the back because I lost weight! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

day 13 thursday

I am doing really well I think logging my food. I'm on consecutive day 4! If I can get to consecutive day 28 that's all I ask for. Amber is starting her class this Saturday!! I'm SO excited. It's at 1030a which is early but I'll be there. I'm SO excited!!!!!!!!!!!!

I donated blood today and am really light headed just walking around. Maybe I'll eat something and see how it gets. I'm watching Idol from last night right now. If I skip tonight, I'll have to do Friday and Saturday to get 3 days - which is fine.

That's about it. Glad it's Friday tomorrow.

No can do

Physically could not move when I got home. I was so sore and still am. I skipped my workout and instead just barely ate today.

oh.my.god.pain.

I'm not going to lie, I am in pain right now from the workout last night. It hurts to even lean forward at my desk and sit. My abs feel activated when I am completely still. I feel like my whole body is one giant muscle cramp. I cannot get comfortable. Trying to remind myself to visualize myself doing it and completing my next workout and not continuing my negative self talk. I can do it, I will do it. I am not weak. The muscles will never be strong enough to do anything without consistency. Must make it 28 days to habit land. Winces at the thought of working out again. I wish I still saw Amber so I could do arms. I wonder if I have an arms video. I could do arms. I really really want to do Wii circuits though. Maybe I'll try to push through Wii circuits - it's only a half hour and tomorrow is walk day. So I get a semi-rest tomorrow. And like yesterday, I'll feel much better if I workout. I am just sore now. I'll stretch before tonight's workout. I'll be fine. No pain, no gain. I'm not going to lose any weight or get any toner skipping workouts because of little pain. Pain = thin. Plus, with a workout and dinner - I've only had a few hundred cals today because I skipped my sandwich (I didn't eat lunch again until 3p). So I've had triple con panna and 1pkg oatmeal and Venti water like yesterday. Then today I just had the cheese mini rice cakes and the 100-calorie S'mores granola bar and more water. So I will def. have to lose something - at least water weight by now LOL

Motivation Fit Girl


Ya I know it's Ashlee Simpson and she's probably heavily airbrushed but it really doesn't take that much effort to be skinny enough that you can see your ribs and get a barely there six-pack like she as here.

Mood: Tired, trying to motivate self, bored, sore
Song playing on iPod: Offspring - Pretty Fly for a White Guy

Googled motivational quote of the day:
Heraclitus
There is nothing permanent except change.

Morning Time!

Wow I can already feel the burn from Pilates last night in my biceps, abs (like when I lean forward), butt (especially lower butt) and thighs (closer to butt). I need to time my Wiirkout (haha Jules - a Wii workout) so I can figure out what is a half hour.

Hopefully I'm not too sore! I'll be fine. Just keep pushing!

I think I might take my measurements tonight just to know them.

Mood: Kind of sore and sleepy but yet happy
Song: listening to Bread - Guitar Man (iPod is on shuffle LOL)
Song: in my head Dolly Parton - 9 to 5 (because I'm working 915 to 515 today).

Workout at 6p then dinner.

Jell-O body

For once not Jell-O the food. I just did Hot Girl Pilates (really called CRUNCH Pick Your Spot PILATES 3 targeted 10-minute workouts for your belly - butt - thighs) Oh and the hot girl is Ellen Barrett apparently. I think I did more than 30 minutes because I did this total body part thinking it was all of them combined but it wasn't so I did like 30 and however long that one was (looked on the back it was a 10-minute 'bonus). It's 10 minutes "belly" as they call it - not me. 10 minutes - butt and 10 minutes - thighs. The abs really weren't too bad. I have a hard time doing the one where you lift your body and balance with just like your elbows and feet touching the ground. I always tip over. I'll have to figure out what muscle I'm supposed to be using - I'm sure abs since it's in the abs section or maybe obliques but I end up using triceps er biceps? Either way - not abs. Update: I Googled and think it is Swan with Roller (Pilates)
Upward Facing Dog (Yoga) from here http://www.healthabitravels.com/sequences.html not the one where she has the pillow thing -- it's above that. Here's a picture:



My arms hurt bad right now even just typing. My butt and thighs and calves were absolutely SHAKING uncontrollably. I could not believe how shaky my legs were just doing basic scissors! Wow. I have a feeling I used muscles I have not used for a while. It felt good to hurt though. As weird as that sounds. Day 10 I felt was really successful as a whole. I stuck completely to my schedule in terms of eating AND working out.

To eat today I had:
9 a.m. ONE (usually I have two) pkg (the serving size!) of maple and brown sugar Quaker oatmeal - 160 instead of usual 280!
9 a.m. to 11 a.m. (it takes me forever to drink these and water) Triple con panna (instead of my lately 140 cal drink!) - a triple con panna is only 40 calories!
LOTS of water. I had a whole venti ice water post oatmeal but pre-lunch - which is a good amt for me.
I was going to eat at noon/1p (4 hours or so into my shift as usual) but I was busy so didn't eat until 3p! I felt bad for eating lunch late but didn't snack in the middle just kept chugging my water.
3 p.m. I had honey roasted turkey (from Kroger deli), two pieces of regular Kroger wheat bread, 9 mini cheddar rice cakes (full ones) and then 4 halves so technically 11 (or 1.22 serving size) and an off-brand choc chip granola bar for dessert and MORE water.
3:30 to 4:40 (when I left) I just had water - probably like a little more than half of my second Venti cup. So a venti cold is what 24 ozs and half of that is 12 so probably 14-16 oz.

My calorie total so far (WITHOUT adding in workout) is only 625!!!!!

I still have 724 calories if I want to eat them PLUS the cals burned from my workout! WOOOOO

Then I came home and did Hot Girl Pilates (okay so I was going to do it at 530p but slacked off working out on my computer until 7p and then did them).

I have to run out now and get my prescription then probably come home and eat. Not sure what...

oh ps lemme know what to do about this Pilates stupid move.

Not as angry day 10

It's Monday morning at 739a but I'm not as frustrated or angry. I just need to find solutions and DO them. So solution no. 1 I am coming home and doing Hot Girl Pilates at 530p.

Because it's okay if Day 1 comes more than once. Or that quote that Jen says about beginnings.

At least I bought pants that fit. So... here is the workout schedule I created for this week.

Monday - 30 minute Hot Girl Pilates
Tuesday - 30 minute Wii routine of regular jackknife 20, advanced step, regular plank, hulu hoop, lunge, advanced step, rowing squat - repeat if necessary, non-stop.
Wednesday - 30 minute walk around neighborhood - find route equivalent to speed.
Thursday - 30 minute Hot Girl Pilates
Friday - 30 minute Wii routine
Saturday - 30 minute walk
Sunday - rest

Mood: hopeful

Day 9

I'm sitting on my couch in my usual spot - contemplating getting off the couch and doing something. I am so tired. I could go to bed right now. I don't want to do anything. I want to sit and watch TV and maybe eat dinner. Ian is napping, I was napping. Company just left after a week. I just want a day off or a half day of no work, no company, no anything. But I have this damn guilt because of this blog. Like I HAVE to do something and it's making me feel very resentful and annoyed. I do have to put away laundry... so we have clothes to wear to work that are actually not out of a basket. But that's about it. OH and I HAVE to dye my hair tonight. It looks awful. I just am so fighting with myself and pissed off at myself because I can't fit into ANY of my pants that were already a size bigger so now I'm essentially TWO sizes bigger. Any bigger and no stores will have my size. I was going to start Amber's class but it got postponed until June. I'm just frustrated right now. FRUSTRAAAAAAAATED. I don't even want to blog anymore because I don't want to face myself or my body or anything right now.

Still

I feel like I haven't done anything this week. I've had friends here and we've just been laying around. I feel better because at least I am acknowledging this.

Ugh Blah Blech

I didn't do Wii. I am still sore from Friday. Does that make me a loser? Or just really out of shape? YAWN I have been tired all day and we had people here all day and people still on there way here! So I am going to lay on my couch and not feel bad about it. I was the house to visit today and I played hostess and had a nice Easter dinner and NO easter candy. I just want to go to bed. But I am waiting for my friends to get here at 1a!! Can't wait. And it's furcation time.

Workout count... eh I cleaned and got sweaty on a holiday. That's good enough for me today.

MUST do something tomorrow.

Happy Easter!

Day 2: Saturday
I am weaning off this stupid Seroquel so I slept literally ALL day. I was going to take a walk but I slept like 3 hours the night before.

Day 3: Sunday (today)
I cleaned ALL day so that was kind of a workout right? I was sweaty. Like really sweaty. I am going to do more Wii later tonight.

My workout schedule today is strength training focused since I did cardio focused Friday.

TDP Log: Day 1

1,060 total calorie consumed (not counting workout)

At this point, TDP says

Our estimate is that you may consume about 1,349 calories a day to lose two pounds per week.

Obviously, 2 lbs a week is a lot to lose at this point. But the setting allows for the best results so far in general. I've been using this site off and on (mostly on for a while) since 2007 and it hasn't failed me yet.

Post-Workout day 1

I worked out! WOO go me! It's my birthday. (not really I'm just a big nerd.)

So I got off my couch, put in my contacts, threw on a sports bra, turned on some hip hop/dance music (some thanks to Miz Julie) and Wiirked (trademarked by Miz Julie as far as I know).

My workout:
3x regular hula hoop
1 min a piece counted
highest score like 52.
I have hips trust me, I just can't use them to hula. LOL I could never hula as a kid ever. but i love Hulu.com :) does that count?

6 mins of free run
Pretty much just consisted of me running around my house like a dumbass (okay it was pretty funny and confused the cats) and the occasional dancing. What can I say? Pitbull makes me go Krazy!

Then I did the Chair 2x (the pose not the lounger) and I did Rowing Squat 1x (for the combo!). I pretty much suck ass at Rowing Squat. Even though Amber made me do them everyday when I trained. I have realized I am not very good working what my Mama gave me.
So that counted for like I dunno 4 minutes or something.

After chair/squat I did free step for 10 minutes = 963 steps. I think the goal is 800 for 10 minutes so that's good I guess. It was really hard to find the beat to the music (since I had the Wii on mute and the music turned up). I had to keep finding 4 count songs or adapt other ones and even with the faster pace on the Wii Fit it's still hard. But I did it and I was super sweaty when done and I wanted to give up but had 6 more minutes until 30.

So I did my favorite Wii Fit activity (seriously) the Jack-knife Challenge. I have the trainer guy that kind of looks like Keanu back when he was in Bill and Ted. So I call him Keanu. And I like to kick Keanu's ass at Jack-knives. It gets my competitive spirit going beating even an animated trainer. So usually I can go for a long time but today I could only do 23 reps (gasp! I know usually I do like at least 30, I think my top was like 56 and I felt like I was going to hurl) but regardless I did them and I worked out and I'm proud of myself!

YAY!

I know I was hard on myself in the first blog but that is just what motivates me -- being hard on myself. It's like when trying to pump up myself I don't believe the lame motivational speeches or the 'You can do it!' but I hear it loud and clear when I tell myself the truth in the most harsh blunt way possible. So I don't really like hate myself. I just know I need to lose weight for health (okay and clothing) purposes. Really any motivation is appreciated.

One day done! WOO.

Let's get real and honest - real honest

Okay so this girl (that would be me) does NOT like to work out right now. I went from a fairly fit happy with myself 155 that had a trainer and could workout without passing out to a mental patient (literally) struggling with depression and then put on every psycho-med out there to a big, fat 183 pound blob that can't fit into her pants that were already a size 16. It's embarrassing. When I slept my love handles merge with my back fat and create this crease that hurts when it rolls together, I get winded doing basic things which makes me feel severely obese, I am constantly tired, my knees feel swollen all the time with all the weight they are holding same goes for my ankles. I can feel my body screaming out for help. I have to get motivated to work out. I have to get past these stupid excuses and just do it even though it's hard and I know it will be hard. I have done it before - got fit- so I know it is a possibility. I know that I CAN handle it mentally and physically and I know how great it feels being fit. I just have to get over the blah lazy and off my comfy couch. God, it is so comfy though. Anyway so I am really hoping this will help. Even if I have to add everyone to this blog to make fun of me to get me motivated.

My former trainer/friend Amber is hosting another class starting April 20 three days a week. I am going to join it. It will no doubt suck and kick my ass but Amber is amazing at what she does and if anyone can get me in shape again, it's the girl who helped me do it the first time.

I am also thinking about trying the couch to 5K again but ... not sure if I am a 'runner.' Guess there's no hurt in trying to be.

I also have a Wii fit for rainy days that I could commit to.

So with three options, I have no excuses.

So far here are my excuses and why they are ... well excuses.

1. I love my couch and my TiVo.
EXCUSE! YOUR COUCH AND TIVO WILL DO NOTHING BUT MAKE YOUR ASS FATTER. Couch and TiVo should be used as a reward.

2. I am already too fat so what is the point.
DO YOU WANT TO BE FATTER? DO YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE MORE SHIT?! HOW DOES 200+ POUNDS SOUND TO YOU. YOUR BMI WILL BE LIKE 40 BY THEN. CANKLES.

3. I plan on having kids... so won't I just get fat anyway?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GAIN AN ADDITIONAL 40 POUNDS OF BABY WEIGHT ONTO YOUR ALREADY FAT ASS?! AND IT'S PROVEN THAT MOMS WHO ARE LAZY/FAT BEFOREHAND DO NOT LOSE THE WEIGHT AS QUICKLY AFTER. SO HAVE FUN BEING THE FATTEST MOM ON THE PLAYGROUND WHO CAN'T PLAY WITH HER OWN KID.

4. I like food and don't want to restrict yourself.
YOU CAN STILL EAT. JUST DON'T EAT FOUR BOWLS OF CEREAL OR ONE SUPER HUGE BOWL OF CEREAL. JUST REPLACE CRAP WITH MORE VEGETABLES!!!!!

5. Ian is thin, I have no motivation around here.
YES, IAN IS THIN AND THAT ISN'T FAIR BUT NOT HIS FAULT. SOME PEOPLE ARE ALSO BORN NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD JUST STOP SHAVING YOUR LEGS. YOU ARE NOT IAN. YOU ARE YOU. AND YOU KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH IAN IS THIN THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T SUPPORT YOU FULLY. YOU KNOW HE DOES.

6. I hate working out alone.
WELL TECHNICALLY EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU DOESN'T MEAN THAT THERE ARE NOT A MILLION OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO. FIND THEM. THEY EXIST. MAYBE EVEN ON CRAIGSLIST.

So there. I just yelled at myself and canceled out all my excuses. OH WAIT I forgot a big one.

7. I went to work today and I'm tired/worked hard/had a bad day.
WHO GIVES A SHIT. SO JUST ADD FATTY WORKING A DESK JOB TO YOUR RESUME. JUST BECAUSE YOU WENT TO WORK DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO JUST GIVE UP ON YOURSELF FATTY MC FATTY. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO MAKE IT SMALLER.

Okay I feel better. Thanks Jenaveive.

Now the question is... do I really feel motivated yet? Not really. I have more excuses. I'm cold. Wearing my glasses. Not wearing a bra. It's late and working out makes me more awake. I hate being sweaty. I hate the way my fat bounces. I am tired. I have a sinus infection and when I bounce my face hurts. I am getting a cavity so the bouncing makes my tooth throb. I want to relax and watch TV or a movie with Ian. I already ate dinner.

Maybe if I write them all down I will eventually run out of excuses. LOL

What number am I now?

8. I'm cold.
WORKING OUT MAKES YOU WARMER duh

9. Wearing my glasses.
SO GO PUT IN YOUR CONTACTS WHEN YOU GO UPSTAIRS TO PUT ON WORKOUT CLOTHES OR AT LEAST GET A SPORTS BRA.

10. Not wearing a bra.
UM SO GO PUT ONE ON ... WHEN YOU PUT IN YOUR CONTACTS. :)

11. It's late and working out makes me more awake.
AND TAKING A TWO HOUR NAP TODAY DIDN'T? IT'S A FRIDAY NIGHT. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU PLANNED ON GOING TO BED AT 10 P.M. ANYWAY. AND YOU TOOK A NAP! YOU'LL BE AWAKE ANYWAY LAZY ASS.

12. I hate being sweaty.
SWEAT IS FAT LEAVING YOUR BODY AND MAKING YOU THINNER. GET OVER IT.

13. I hate the way my fat bounces.
UM THIS ONE IS FAIRLY OBVIOUS. FAT BOUNCES BECAUSE WELL YOU ARE FAT. TO GET RID OF FAT BOUNCING YOU HAVE TO WORK OUT. GENIUS.

14. I am tired.
WELL GOOD THING WORKING OUT WAKES YOU UP THEN ISN'T IT. PS READ I TOOK A NAP. GET OVER IT.

15. I have a sinus infection and when I bounce my face hurts.
HMMMM I might have to consult Ian on this one and the cavity one. Because it is really painful... SO GO TAKE A TYLENOL AND GET OVER IT

16. I am getting a cavity so the bouncing makes my tooth throb.
SEE SINUS INFECTION

17. I want to relax and watch TV or a movie with Ian.
TV IS A REWARD. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TV YET.

18. I already ate dinner.
WELL LA-DI-DA GOOD FOR YOU. IT BETTER HAVE BEEN HEALTHY AND IT WAS PROBABLY A LONG TIME AGO SO... GO WORK OUT.

Okay. I think I am out of excuses. Surprisingly. So I am going to read this to Ian and send it to everyone and then go work out.