Day 9

I'm sitting on my couch in my usual spot - contemplating getting off the couch and doing something. I am so tired. I could go to bed right now. I don't want to do anything. I want to sit and watch TV and maybe eat dinner. Ian is napping, I was napping. Company just left after a week. I just want a day off or a half day of no work, no company, no anything. But I have this damn guilt because of this blog. Like I HAVE to do something and it's making me feel very resentful and annoyed. I do have to put away laundry... so we have clothes to wear to work that are actually not out of a basket. But that's about it. OH and I HAVE to dye my hair tonight. It looks awful. I just am so fighting with myself and pissed off at myself because I can't fit into ANY of my pants that were already a size bigger so now I'm essentially TWO sizes bigger. Any bigger and no stores will have my size. I was going to start Amber's class but it got postponed until June. I'm just frustrated right now. FRUSTRAAAAAAAATED. I don't even want to blog anymore because I don't want to face myself or my body or anything right now.