day 32 - Tuesday - May 12

It is my 32nd day since I started my I should really get back into shape and lose weight program on April 10, 2009.

It is my 24th consecutive day since I have been actively pursuing it - MINUS this weekend because my grandma was in the hospital and I was worried and overeating.

On April 10, 2009 - I weighed in at 181 pounds.
Today, May 12, 2009 - I weighed in at 177.5 pounds.

Which means that since I started dieting and exercising again (basically 3 weeks give or take) I have lost 3.5 pounds!

An average of MORE THAN a pound a week! Which for me is very impressive and it has been steadily decreasing.

April 10 - 181.0
April 24 - 178.4
April 27 - 179.5
April 29 - 178.1
May 2 - 178.4
May 4 - 178.1
May 12 - 177.5

Here is my diary entry today from www.thedailyplate.com (where I log my food daily)
110p I am confused because I just felt REALLY shaky but my eating patterns have been normal today. I ate, drank water, haven't had a lot of sugar. And caff. never effects me shaky-wise and I have the same thing everyday. Weird.

730p Just weighed in pre-workout and gained .4 pounds, weighed in post-workout and lost 1.1 pounds. I don't know and I don't care. I'm down to 177. 5 with a two-week goal of 176.6.

My Wii Routine Wiirkout tonight:
Generator: 30 mins/Weight Loss/Medium/Legs focus
33 minutes total
Sideways Leg Lift - 3m
Basic Step - 3m
Tricep Extension - 3m
Super Hulu - 3m
Boxing - 12m
Balance 4m
Torso Twist 2m
Tricep Extension - 3m

Day 19 since start/Day 9 consecutive

Hello lovelies that stop by to read my blog. I'm not getting many comments but I hope some of you are stopping by. Even if you aren't, the idea that you might is enough to keep me accountable.

I have made it to Wednesday. Yesterday was hellish. I was so annoyed and stressed and tired. Today, I woke up with a much better attitude on life and everything. I have only had 359 calories today (including lunch) and am a little hungry but yet happy that I'm training my stomach. Once you get past the restrictions, I find it gets a lot easier. I am already on my second 24-oz glass of water too!

I came in early today to work so I am working 8:15 to 4:15. I was going to go for my 30-minute walk tonight but it's raining so I will probably try out Wii circuits hopefully tonight.

Honestly, they look so scary and complicated that I haven't done them yet. I def. need to work out though tonight. I am not doing as well on the work out scale as I am on the diet scale. And being thinner and healthy isn't just based on diet alone or exercise only. It's a healthy and consistent combination of both.

Anyway back to work. Just wanted to drop in to track my progress.

oh.my.god.pain.

I'm not going to lie, I am in pain right now from the workout last night. It hurts to even lean forward at my desk and sit. My abs feel activated when I am completely still. I feel like my whole body is one giant muscle cramp. I cannot get comfortable. Trying to remind myself to visualize myself doing it and completing my next workout and not continuing my negative self talk. I can do it, I will do it. I am not weak. The muscles will never be strong enough to do anything without consistency. Must make it 28 days to habit land. Winces at the thought of working out again. I wish I still saw Amber so I could do arms. I wonder if I have an arms video. I could do arms. I really really want to do Wii circuits though. Maybe I'll try to push through Wii circuits - it's only a half hour and tomorrow is walk day. So I get a semi-rest tomorrow. And like yesterday, I'll feel much better if I workout. I am just sore now. I'll stretch before tonight's workout. I'll be fine. No pain, no gain. I'm not going to lose any weight or get any toner skipping workouts because of little pain. Pain = thin. Plus, with a workout and dinner - I've only had a few hundred cals today because I skipped my sandwich (I didn't eat lunch again until 3p). So I've had triple con panna and 1pkg oatmeal and Venti water like yesterday. Then today I just had the cheese mini rice cakes and the 100-calorie S'mores granola bar and more water. So I will def. have to lose something - at least water weight by now LOL

Motivation Fit Girl


Ya I know it's Ashlee Simpson and she's probably heavily airbrushed but it really doesn't take that much effort to be skinny enough that you can see your ribs and get a barely there six-pack like she as here.

Mood: Tired, trying to motivate self, bored, sore
Song playing on iPod: Offspring - Pretty Fly for a White Guy

Googled motivational quote of the day:
Heraclitus
There is nothing permanent except change.

Let's get real and honest - real honest

Okay so this girl (that would be me) does NOT like to work out right now. I went from a fairly fit happy with myself 155 that had a trainer and could workout without passing out to a mental patient (literally) struggling with depression and then put on every psycho-med out there to a big, fat 183 pound blob that can't fit into her pants that were already a size 16. It's embarrassing. When I slept my love handles merge with my back fat and create this crease that hurts when it rolls together, I get winded doing basic things which makes me feel severely obese, I am constantly tired, my knees feel swollen all the time with all the weight they are holding same goes for my ankles. I can feel my body screaming out for help. I have to get motivated to work out. I have to get past these stupid excuses and just do it even though it's hard and I know it will be hard. I have done it before - got fit- so I know it is a possibility. I know that I CAN handle it mentally and physically and I know how great it feels being fit. I just have to get over the blah lazy and off my comfy couch. God, it is so comfy though. Anyway so I am really hoping this will help. Even if I have to add everyone to this blog to make fun of me to get me motivated.

My former trainer/friend Amber is hosting another class starting April 20 three days a week. I am going to join it. It will no doubt suck and kick my ass but Amber is amazing at what she does and if anyone can get me in shape again, it's the girl who helped me do it the first time.

I am also thinking about trying the couch to 5K again but ... not sure if I am a 'runner.' Guess there's no hurt in trying to be.

I also have a Wii fit for rainy days that I could commit to.

So with three options, I have no excuses.

So far here are my excuses and why they are ... well excuses.

1. I love my couch and my TiVo.
EXCUSE! YOUR COUCH AND TIVO WILL DO NOTHING BUT MAKE YOUR ASS FATTER. Couch and TiVo should be used as a reward.

2. I am already too fat so what is the point.
DO YOU WANT TO BE FATTER? DO YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE MORE SHIT?! HOW DOES 200+ POUNDS SOUND TO YOU. YOUR BMI WILL BE LIKE 40 BY THEN. CANKLES.

3. I plan on having kids... so won't I just get fat anyway?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GAIN AN ADDITIONAL 40 POUNDS OF BABY WEIGHT ONTO YOUR ALREADY FAT ASS?! AND IT'S PROVEN THAT MOMS WHO ARE LAZY/FAT BEFOREHAND DO NOT LOSE THE WEIGHT AS QUICKLY AFTER. SO HAVE FUN BEING THE FATTEST MOM ON THE PLAYGROUND WHO CAN'T PLAY WITH HER OWN KID.

4. I like food and don't want to restrict yourself.
YOU CAN STILL EAT. JUST DON'T EAT FOUR BOWLS OF CEREAL OR ONE SUPER HUGE BOWL OF CEREAL. JUST REPLACE CRAP WITH MORE VEGETABLES!!!!!

5. Ian is thin, I have no motivation around here.
YES, IAN IS THIN AND THAT ISN'T FAIR BUT NOT HIS FAULT. SOME PEOPLE ARE ALSO BORN NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD JUST STOP SHAVING YOUR LEGS. YOU ARE NOT IAN. YOU ARE YOU. AND YOU KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH IAN IS THIN THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T SUPPORT YOU FULLY. YOU KNOW HE DOES.

6. I hate working out alone.
WELL TECHNICALLY EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU DOESN'T MEAN THAT THERE ARE NOT A MILLION OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO. FIND THEM. THEY EXIST. MAYBE EVEN ON CRAIGSLIST.

So there. I just yelled at myself and canceled out all my excuses. OH WAIT I forgot a big one.

7. I went to work today and I'm tired/worked hard/had a bad day.
WHO GIVES A SHIT. SO JUST ADD FATTY WORKING A DESK JOB TO YOUR RESUME. JUST BECAUSE YOU WENT TO WORK DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO JUST GIVE UP ON YOURSELF FATTY MC FATTY. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO MAKE IT SMALLER.

Okay I feel better. Thanks Jenaveive.

Now the question is... do I really feel motivated yet? Not really. I have more excuses. I'm cold. Wearing my glasses. Not wearing a bra. It's late and working out makes me more awake. I hate being sweaty. I hate the way my fat bounces. I am tired. I have a sinus infection and when I bounce my face hurts. I am getting a cavity so the bouncing makes my tooth throb. I want to relax and watch TV or a movie with Ian. I already ate dinner.

Maybe if I write them all down I will eventually run out of excuses. LOL

What number am I now?

8. I'm cold.
WORKING OUT MAKES YOU WARMER duh

9. Wearing my glasses.
SO GO PUT IN YOUR CONTACTS WHEN YOU GO UPSTAIRS TO PUT ON WORKOUT CLOTHES OR AT LEAST GET A SPORTS BRA.

10. Not wearing a bra.
UM SO GO PUT ONE ON ... WHEN YOU PUT IN YOUR CONTACTS. :)

11. It's late and working out makes me more awake.
AND TAKING A TWO HOUR NAP TODAY DIDN'T? IT'S A FRIDAY NIGHT. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU PLANNED ON GOING TO BED AT 10 P.M. ANYWAY. AND YOU TOOK A NAP! YOU'LL BE AWAKE ANYWAY LAZY ASS.

12. I hate being sweaty.
SWEAT IS FAT LEAVING YOUR BODY AND MAKING YOU THINNER. GET OVER IT.

13. I hate the way my fat bounces.
UM THIS ONE IS FAIRLY OBVIOUS. FAT BOUNCES BECAUSE WELL YOU ARE FAT. TO GET RID OF FAT BOUNCING YOU HAVE TO WORK OUT. GENIUS.

14. I am tired.
WELL GOOD THING WORKING OUT WAKES YOU UP THEN ISN'T IT. PS READ I TOOK A NAP. GET OVER IT.

15. I have a sinus infection and when I bounce my face hurts.
HMMMM I might have to consult Ian on this one and the cavity one. Because it is really painful... SO GO TAKE A TYLENOL AND GET OVER IT

16. I am getting a cavity so the bouncing makes my tooth throb.
SEE SINUS INFECTION

17. I want to relax and watch TV or a movie with Ian.
TV IS A REWARD. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TV YET.

18. I already ate dinner.
WELL LA-DI-DA GOOD FOR YOU. IT BETTER HAVE BEEN HEALTHY AND IT WAS PROBABLY A LONG TIME AGO SO... GO WORK OUT.

Okay. I think I am out of excuses. Surprisingly. So I am going to read this to Ian and send it to everyone and then go work out.