Let's get real and honest - real honest

Okay so this girl (that would be me) does NOT like to work out right now. I went from a fairly fit happy with myself 155 that had a trainer and could workout without passing out to a mental patient (literally) struggling with depression and then put on every psycho-med out there to a big, fat 183 pound blob that can't fit into her pants that were already a size 16. It's embarrassing. When I slept my love handles merge with my back fat and create this crease that hurts when it rolls together, I get winded doing basic things which makes me feel severely obese, I am constantly tired, my knees feel swollen all the time with all the weight they are holding same goes for my ankles. I can feel my body screaming out for help. I have to get motivated to work out. I have to get past these stupid excuses and just do it even though it's hard and I know it will be hard. I have done it before - got fit- so I know it is a possibility. I know that I CAN handle it mentally and physically and I know how great it feels being fit. I just have to get over the blah lazy and off my comfy couch. God, it is so comfy though. Anyway so I am really hoping this will help. Even if I have to add everyone to this blog to make fun of me to get me motivated.

My former trainer/friend Amber is hosting another class starting April 20 three days a week. I am going to join it. It will no doubt suck and kick my ass but Amber is amazing at what she does and if anyone can get me in shape again, it's the girl who helped me do it the first time.

I am also thinking about trying the couch to 5K again but ... not sure if I am a 'runner.' Guess there's no hurt in trying to be.

I also have a Wii fit for rainy days that I could commit to.

So with three options, I have no excuses.

So far here are my excuses and why they are ... well excuses.

1. I love my couch and my TiVo.
EXCUSE! YOUR COUCH AND TIVO WILL DO NOTHING BUT MAKE YOUR ASS FATTER. Couch and TiVo should be used as a reward.

2. I am already too fat so what is the point.
DO YOU WANT TO BE FATTER? DO YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE MORE SHIT?! HOW DOES 200+ POUNDS SOUND TO YOU. YOUR BMI WILL BE LIKE 40 BY THEN. CANKLES.

3. I plan on having kids... so won't I just get fat anyway?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GAIN AN ADDITIONAL 40 POUNDS OF BABY WEIGHT ONTO YOUR ALREADY FAT ASS?! AND IT'S PROVEN THAT MOMS WHO ARE LAZY/FAT BEFOREHAND DO NOT LOSE THE WEIGHT AS QUICKLY AFTER. SO HAVE FUN BEING THE FATTEST MOM ON THE PLAYGROUND WHO CAN'T PLAY WITH HER OWN KID.

4. I like food and don't want to restrict yourself.
YOU CAN STILL EAT. JUST DON'T EAT FOUR BOWLS OF CEREAL OR ONE SUPER HUGE BOWL OF CEREAL. JUST REPLACE CRAP WITH MORE VEGETABLES!!!!!

5. Ian is thin, I have no motivation around here.
YES, IAN IS THIN AND THAT ISN'T FAIR BUT NOT HIS FAULT. SOME PEOPLE ARE ALSO BORN NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD JUST STOP SHAVING YOUR LEGS. YOU ARE NOT IAN. YOU ARE YOU. AND YOU KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH IAN IS THIN THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T SUPPORT YOU FULLY. YOU KNOW HE DOES.

6. I hate working out alone.
WELL TECHNICALLY EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU DOESN'T MEAN THAT THERE ARE NOT A MILLION OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO. FIND THEM. THEY EXIST. MAYBE EVEN ON CRAIGSLIST.

So there. I just yelled at myself and canceled out all my excuses. OH WAIT I forgot a big one.

7. I went to work today and I'm tired/worked hard/had a bad day.
WHO GIVES A SHIT. SO JUST ADD FATTY WORKING A DESK JOB TO YOUR RESUME. JUST BECAUSE YOU WENT TO WORK DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO JUST GIVE UP ON YOURSELF FATTY MC FATTY. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO MAKE IT SMALLER.

Okay I feel better. Thanks Jenaveive.

Now the question is... do I really feel motivated yet? Not really. I have more excuses. I'm cold. Wearing my glasses. Not wearing a bra. It's late and working out makes me more awake. I hate being sweaty. I hate the way my fat bounces. I am tired. I have a sinus infection and when I bounce my face hurts. I am getting a cavity so the bouncing makes my tooth throb. I want to relax and watch TV or a movie with Ian. I already ate dinner.

Maybe if I write them all down I will eventually run out of excuses. LOL

What number am I now?

8. I'm cold.
WORKING OUT MAKES YOU WARMER duh

9. Wearing my glasses.
SO GO PUT IN YOUR CONTACTS WHEN YOU GO UPSTAIRS TO PUT ON WORKOUT CLOTHES OR AT LEAST GET A SPORTS BRA.

10. Not wearing a bra.
UM SO GO PUT ONE ON ... WHEN YOU PUT IN YOUR CONTACTS. :)

11. It's late and working out makes me more awake.
AND TAKING A TWO HOUR NAP TODAY DIDN'T? IT'S A FRIDAY NIGHT. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU PLANNED ON GOING TO BED AT 10 P.M. ANYWAY. AND YOU TOOK A NAP! YOU'LL BE AWAKE ANYWAY LAZY ASS.

12. I hate being sweaty.
SWEAT IS FAT LEAVING YOUR BODY AND MAKING YOU THINNER. GET OVER IT.

13. I hate the way my fat bounces.
UM THIS ONE IS FAIRLY OBVIOUS. FAT BOUNCES BECAUSE WELL YOU ARE FAT. TO GET RID OF FAT BOUNCING YOU HAVE TO WORK OUT. GENIUS.

14. I am tired.
WELL GOOD THING WORKING OUT WAKES YOU UP THEN ISN'T IT. PS READ I TOOK A NAP. GET OVER IT.

15. I have a sinus infection and when I bounce my face hurts.
HMMMM I might have to consult Ian on this one and the cavity one. Because it is really painful... SO GO TAKE A TYLENOL AND GET OVER IT

16. I am getting a cavity so the bouncing makes my tooth throb.
SEE SINUS INFECTION

17. I want to relax and watch TV or a movie with Ian.
TV IS A REWARD. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TV YET.

18. I already ate dinner.
WELL LA-DI-DA GOOD FOR YOU. IT BETTER HAVE BEEN HEALTHY AND IT WAS PROBABLY A LONG TIME AGO SO... GO WORK OUT.

Okay. I think I am out of excuses. Surprisingly. So I am going to read this to Ian and send it to everyone and then go work out.